Oh, Waitress!

DragonFruit and I had the worst waitress in all of history today. It's to the point where if we see her there working, both of us hesitate when the Walky Guy signals we can cross the street. She is honestly the most terrible waitress ever--I doubt she could even master the complexity of a McDonald's register, and would probably forget to ask if we wanted fries with that.

Today, Terrible Waitress' sins were the following.

1. We both asked for water. Only DragonFruit got any. Tsk tsk for not paying attention to the afterthought order of Water of Moral Obligation on the part of CoffeeWhore.
2. Only after I had drunk half of my coffee did she come over with cream and sugar. Tsk tsk for failing to notice that I drink my coffee black, always do, and tsk tsk tsk a million times over for overlooking the fact that I as a customer, might want the cream and sugar (even though I don't).
3. Bringing around a nearly-overflowing pitcher of the Water of Moral Obligation, Terrible Waitress sinned against conservation practices by pouring too much water into DragonFruit's glass, sloshing a wave of the precious stuff onto her (thankfully) almost-empty plate. DragonFruit says: "I guess I was done with that," looking mildly grossed-out by the lone potato swimming in a pool of water. Ew.
4. Terrible Waitress neglected to pick up the check until we waved it at her, brought me only ONE refill and generally only barely earned the $2 tip we afforded her.

Oh, Waitress! You are terrible! If this cafe weren't the best place in town to get brunch on the cheap, we would be asking for your schedule so that we could go elsewhere on the days that you work.

Terrible Waitress! Find another job! You were obviously not called to work the brunch crowd.

BrunchyBits, 15 October: The Water of Moral Obligation

• DragonFruit = Two Egg Breakfast (Over-Medium) + Extra Piece of Toast + The Water of Moral Obligation
• CoffeeWhore = Three-Cheese Omelette + Extra Fruit (no potatoes) + Coffee + The Water of Moral Obligation
• Plum Jam
• 3 cups of coffee for CoffeeWhore
• 1h 15min of delicious food and conversation
• Waitress = HS SoccerChick
  

San Liberal is in a massive drought right now, so much so that they won't even bring you water when you sit down to eat unless you ask for it. And then they bring you, as they say here in S.L. ginormous glasses of water, of which you must drink all, because otherwise it's a waste. We've been talking about this for a while, and finally settled on the notion that there is a moral obligation to drink all the water, because of the drought. And thus the notion of the Water of Moral Obligation was born.

It makes it feel kind of sacred.