Dear God...

DragonFruit and I discussed the phenomenon of the Weigh-Down Diet the other day.

DragonFruit hadn't heard of the lovely Weigh-Down Diet.

If you look carefully on the cover, you'll notice that underneath the title, there's a cross. That should be your first clue.

The Weigh-Down Diet goes something like this:

Dieter: Lord, I'm hungry, and I really want that caramel apple. Please help me with all your divine power and glory not to eat that very tempting caramel apple.

DF & CW both say: WTF?!?! As if the Almighty didn't have better things to do.

If only Eve had had prayed the same prayer over *her* apple!

Seen Nearby: Yes, Virginia, That *IS* a Hat

No commentary required other than... Really?!?

Oh, Waitress!

DragonFruit and I had the worst waitress in all of history today. It's to the point where if we see her there working, both of us hesitate when the Walky Guy signals we can cross the street. She is honestly the most terrible waitress ever--I doubt she could even master the complexity of a McDonald's register, and would probably forget to ask if we wanted fries with that.

Today, Terrible Waitress' sins were the following.

1. We both asked for water. Only DragonFruit got any. Tsk tsk for not paying attention to the afterthought order of Water of Moral Obligation on the part of CoffeeWhore.
2. Only after I had drunk half of my coffee did she come over with cream and sugar. Tsk tsk for failing to notice that I drink my coffee black, always do, and tsk tsk tsk a million times over for overlooking the fact that I as a customer, might want the cream and sugar (even though I don't).
3. Bringing around a nearly-overflowing pitcher of the Water of Moral Obligation, Terrible Waitress sinned against conservation practices by pouring too much water into DragonFruit's glass, sloshing a wave of the precious stuff onto her (thankfully) almost-empty plate. DragonFruit says: "I guess I was done with that," looking mildly grossed-out by the lone potato swimming in a pool of water. Ew.
4. Terrible Waitress neglected to pick up the check until we waved it at her, brought me only ONE refill and generally only barely earned the $2 tip we afforded her.

Oh, Waitress! You are terrible! If this cafe weren't the best place in town to get brunch on the cheap, we would be asking for your schedule so that we could go elsewhere on the days that you work.

Terrible Waitress! Find another job! You were obviously not called to work the brunch crowd.